I haven't posted in quite a while. No major turning points as yet, only baby steps.
Have spent the last several weeks GALing. Have had the best 6 weeks in over 12 months, with family, friends and work.
W has slowed down the divorce process. I went to drop some rubbish in the outside bin today, and noticed a torn up letter (bin was empty other than the letter. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a look, and it was from my W's solicitor, dated 10 December, stating that they had not recieved any response from my solicitor in regards to the consent orders (I have been away for work and have not had time to provide all the relevant documentation).
Normally my W would be harrassing me to get it done, but she has not said anything, even after receiving the letter.
I took out the Xmas tree a few weeks ago, and set it up for her and DD (for them to do the decorations together), which W was really happy about being given the opportunity to do it with DD (starting to reconnect with DD again).
W bought me 3 gifts and placed them under the tree, all wrapped, and over the budget that we set (now that we are separated, I suggested we stick to a budget for our gifts, and make them from DD).
W asked me to get a list from my sister for xmas so she can get her something (she has not spoken to her in 11 months, just spoke to her a couple of times over the last week, mainly about DD but still conversing).
DD mentioned to W that I had a girlfriend (DD understands girlfriend as a friend who is a girl). DD told me that W was asking about her when I was away for work. DD told her she was blonde, slim and really pretty. W told her "no one is prettier than your mum". This girlfriend is a good friend of mine, and my personal trainer, but what the heck, I will play along with it
W got really angry one day and rang me when I was interstate for work. I played it down and kept calm, main talking point was the "girlfriend" after the initial argument was about a bill that had not been paid.
Oh, and I have been the perfect "housemate/estranged husband". E.g went out and bought a gift for her nephew, wrapped it along with a card because W was stressing about not having time to get it. Also keeping the house spotless from my mess and DD's mess.
Did the grocery shopping, and included W's half without asking for any money (along with not asking for money for the gift) (W and I have halved all living expenses, and she looks after her own needs, whilst I look after my own and DD's in regards to grocery and school/clothing etc.
Not to mention heaps of other things I have done.
I am taking all of this with a pinch of salt at the moment. She still goes out every night (stayed home tonight though), and is still seeing OM, so nothing has really changed in her mind or heart. But the changes between ourselves has been huge compared to how things were a couple of months ago.
Enough of my dribble, hope you all have an excellent Xmas and an even better New Year.
Life has been pleasant over the last few months. W is less "self-absorbed" and is conversing "to" me and not "at" me.
I looked after DD on Friday night (usually my nights to go out), and W told me that it was unfair on me, but I did not mind, as I wanted to spend it with DD. I then accepted an offer to babysit SIL's son tonight, with DD. I went to pick him up earlier this afternoon, and SIL told me how everyone hates OM, and how he made W pay for her own dinner at her birthday (when he went with her family). Also how he went up to the bar to buy himself a beer, after he was shouted several drinks from her family etc etc real tight arse.
She is being judged and harrassed by her whole family, and most of her friends, which is why she has made a new network of friends through OM. This is what has gone against me, the "under seige" mentality that has strengthened her resolve to be with OM. Also the fact that I think she is really in love with the muppet.
It really does annoy me that W does not care that he is so tight with his money, and that she pays for everything. She was so materialistic with me, that one of the reasons I wasn't there for her was because I was always working to pay for what she wanted. Hypocrytical if you ask me.
Enough of that, I should be focusing on the positives. Eventhough she is still with OM, she did offer and actually wrapped my Xmas presents that I had bought for my sister today. This is the first time she has done something for me in several months, and first time she has actually offered anything.
SIL told me that although her whole family think that this OM is a real loser, and all of them get a really bad vibe from him (also he is in massive debt, so W pays for their outings), W is really happy when she is around him, and SIL notices that W looks really "in love" with him.
She still sees him everyday, and is at his house tonight. Whilst I am at home looking after DD and W's nephew, go figure.
I will never stop wondering exactly what they see in these OP's, especially when they are so "different" to what they have walked away from (for the worse not for the better eg less generous, less thoughtful, shorter and less attractive etc etc.
It will be coming up to a year now that they have been together, and in my head I can't see it lasting much longer, but in my heart I think it will go the whole way, and W will make it work to prove everyone wrong.
