Didn't see w for a week and when I did the first thing she brings up is that the refinancing lady at the bank is on holidays and she will be seeing her when she gets back from them.
Had two phone calls from w in the last week. Some sort of record I reckon. One about s14 who came home from school early because of some mysterious malady that came over him. Strange because when s got the growth on inside of his leg I only got info second hand. Next call was today with w asking if I wanted the car and kids 'cause if I didn't she wanted the car. I said no worries you only get every second weekend off so make the most of it. maybe I can drop you at work one day and have car whilst you are working. W asked what I'm doing on my bday next week and I replied nothing planned she suggested we all go out to dinner (wtf) I said I usually do a meeting Wednesday night. We left it open and did my usual quick ok then see you later and hung up.
Can't read too much into any of this, who knows where her mind is at.
Have occasionally been going to a local spiritual church. I started going not long after I embarked upon the 12 step recovery program. The program asks us to find our own concept of a higher power so off to the spiritual church I went. Fairly regularly initially and now not so often. You couldn't meet a nicer bunch of people. However I find that I can't really keep going there when I deep down think that most of them are delusional. If you were in a mental health unit and talked about having conversations with Jesus and the Archangel Gabrielle and seeing spirit guides and such, I really don't think they would be letting you out of there in a hurry.
W had gone quite newage in the years prior to the bomb and in fact used to go to this same church. Now a male friend of hers from her Monday night meditation group is attending this church regularly and is a full on healer and is trying to get a book published that Jesus channeled to him. Now the thing is how do I handle this fellow. I was there one evening and he was there talking to the group about how his good friend WIFESNAMEHERE is proof reading his manuscript & etc. Made me feel a bit iffy I must admit. I had previously worked out who he was, 'the mystical simon, healer, speaker of truth' from my w talking about him. Now it appears he knows who I am and may ask questions. Not that there is anything wrong with questions it's just the answers I'm concerned about.
If asked about her I could say...
'actually it's none of your business'
or
'yes she's my w, or should I say ex-w to be, we're sep'ed'
or
'who'
Whatever, doesn't really matter. I could use it to my advantage and make myself look good in his eyes so he'd report back to the w how great I'm doing. Yeah bull$hit! Most likely just wont go as much.
Went to listen to a Buddhist monk give a talk on suffering and how to overcome it the other weekend, it seems that our attachments to various things cause most of our suffering. Making me wonder if my attachment to my w & family is good for me or not. They also say that our actions are our only possessions and are the ground upon which we walk.
So what to do? Detach. Don't do anything to make the situation worse. Continue to work on my good self. Let others and myself reap the benefits.
