Your daughter is doing what she should be doing at her age. It's very good. And it's way better for her to break up with him than it is for him to break up with her. So I would be thrilled to see my daughter acting so responsibly in the situation.
Sounds like your H was really slumming with OW. Maybe there was some mystique to all the tawdriness at first, and then it just became tawdry. Kind of like that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is dating some guy who won't take her back to his apartment and acts mysterious, so she figures he is married. And then it turns out that he's just poor, and she can't believe that she's been dating him.
I hope your husband will recommit to your amrriage and family. If he does you should look into a Retrouvaille or Imago weekend to deal with the bad feelings on both sides after the affair. We tend to think that we are the only ones who are hurting, but it isn't true. And as long as we don't understand the other person's feelings, it is difficult to truly rebuild the marriage. My husband and I went to Retrouvaille less than a year ago, and it changed our lives. I can't even believe that this time last year he was planning to divorce me and replace me with her, and I was consumed with hatred. Now, we are like newlyweds again. Ich, even I find it gross sometimes!
