It's okay to be afraid! This IS scary-- make no mistake. Life is scary, and loving someone is scary, because you might lose them. Yes, you're afraid of losing him... that's realistic. But if you withdraw now, you've ALREADY lost him, kwim?
Lilly,
Thank you ! You have no idea how comforting your words are. I am afraid, very afraid and in an odd way, I guess that is ok...it's helping to open my eyes as to how fragile life is. I'll be the first to admit that I've taken IC for granted..that he'll always be there. And now I'm faced with the fact that this is for real. You are so right, all the little daily things that so often get overlooked...NEVER again.
When I got home, IC just held me tight. I wanted so much to hug and kiss him and beat his azz at the same time, but he held me and as he did, a calmness came over me. Even though I KNOW he is scared, he's got...confidence isn't the word I'm looking for, he's just got this thing about him that makes you feel that even in the face of turmoil...that everything is going to be ok. I can't describe it but I FEEL it.
This cancer doesn't know what it's up against in my boy. It might ultimately win the battle but I can say without uncertainty that it will NEVER break his spirit and his will.
What's IC little saying on his signature line...If you can't lick em'..lick em'.....I placing my bet now that he'll lick this one way or another.
Lilly, I'm NOT backing away or withdrawing from IC. I had a lot of mixed emotions today but I'm back in the fight Thank you !
Now if you guys don't mind, I'm going up to snuggle with my boy
Thank you ! 