I can relate to you. Now that I am working on the M I have these pitfalls too. It also took a couple of conversations for him to spill out the details I needed. He told me then that he needed to feel I wouldn't use them against him. I had to verbalize it and I said it was better for me to know than to wildly fantasize. So I was giving him the opportunity to tell his side of the story. My side should be worst.
It helps me when I remember myself I forgave him and since I am in a process of healing I can afford to take time and let him try to fix it. Well, we can always count on guys genetics needs of fixing things.
You ARE doing great. Trust your gut feeling about the reasons you are working on your marriage. In the end we are always learning here from each other that it is possible.
