[quote=BritInOH Honestly, I'm not sure what sort of reaction you expect to get from that e-mail. If he's angry, then you just need to back off for a while and let him cool down. It is unfortunate that D has become involved - Maybe having her talk to a C would be helpful.
I think the 48hr rule defiantly applies to whatever conversation you have with H about all of this. I'd not send an e-mail though. If I got that in my e-mail, even when I wasn't angry, it'd be pretty frustrating to read.
Back off, give him some time and then see what happens. Work with D on your own for a while and make sure the most important thing is that she is not thrown for a loop by all of this.
[/quote] Thanks Brit,
I started off that 'email' to him because there are things I need to communicate with him but then my fingers just took over and that whole email came out. I posted it here in lieu of sending it - it made me feel better to put it somewhere where someone would read it, rather than just have it sit in my drafts folder. If I do end up sending it, it will be a far cut down version and the first email I send him will be dealing with d and d only (eg providing options as to when he can see her etc). I'll probably post it here as well to get feedback before I send it. You're right about it being a frustrating email...I kinda didn't really edit it before I posted it.
We took d to a counsellor on thursday. I'll post about that later, but I'm glad she has a chance to talk to someone.
Yeah...I'll need to back off. Unfortunately, I've gone too far in backing off from him, but I was having trouble dealing with the unpredictability of the situation (eg when he would call, what he would say, whether he would touch me etc) and went too far in trying to regain control by shutting him out altogether.
Has anyone else done this? ie shut their spouse out to protect themselves and their spouse then responds with shutting them out in return?
