CVA - Not sure I have figured anything out?

[Puddle]

Hey CVA,

Anyway, told her last night/ yesterday I need more than 10 mintues planning times and BAM, another day of miss flighty going about her day like the world revolved around her.

This is maddening for you, of course, especially when the plans and changes affect you. Do your best to roll with the punches, though. Of course, if you have plans (that you've shared with her) and that doesn't work for you, just tell her (calmly). It's fine to stand up for yourself about these things. Extra hard when the kids are involved, though.

I am going to get all my anger out here, ok?

Absolutely, this is the place for all spewing.

Funny part is their is actually some anxiety lifted as at least I know what she wants.

This makes total sense. You've been in limbo without any communication for a long time. She finally did something you can deal with.

A D for sure, then as long as I play nice, everything works out for her....see, perfect, Ds are fine, no long term effects. She moves on, I move on, kids are flexible. Fantastic.....

CVA, it's possible that your W is so shallow and self-involved that she really views it this way---you know her and I don't. But regardless, try to let this go. We'd all like to push a button and turn on the reality bulb for the WAS re what kind of effects this will have on everyone involved, but it's impossible. The wishing itself saps energy that can be used to more benefit elsewhere.

You know this: If she's going to come to it, she'll come to it best on her own, without your pointing it out. CVA, you have four kids who are not going to be as fine with the D as W might like to think, and she'll see it. Again, even that might not move her. But you need to take care of you and the kids now. Let her go.

Oh yeah, ladies, why would she still be wearing her ring? That is odd to me. You file for Divorce, yet you still want people to know your married?

I bet it's shiny, isn't it? But seriously, who knows? Are you wearing yours?

Take care.