Now I've done it...again #5

[mkultra]

Neph, I did not realize about your sister and this sad anniversary. neph, I am in no way justifying what your H did, but I think he will realize it was a mistake. He is very confused and he sees these transitional friends as his support. He must know that you support him but for some reason he is still afraid of you. Perhaps the sex is a power thing to see if there is still love and trust between you. I think he did that to be close to you again, to see if there could be forgiveness and trust. I think he feels like a horrible father and the guilt keeps him away. I am not justifying anyone going against the family, which is what he has done, but maybe your past anger and the stalking justify him being talked into doing this stupid stuff. People do things for power, I guess. You must be the calm one, that good old lighthouse again. The thing is, even as I try to justify this, to see his POV, it will alwyas feel like betrayal. He knows that and the guilt and contrition may eat him alive and turn him into a bigger heel. Oh, take care, but please, no more negative spiraling. You know where that takes you. If he is no longer your support , if they are no longer our support system, we need to remember any other positive support. You, me, neighbors, friends, family, dare I say kids, they are so small and fragile? Food, geez, TV, anything, Oprah, I dunno. I wish I could be there to hug you, but I know it will get better. This may be a blow that just happens in volatile break ups. If I could, I wouldthreaten my H's OW too and put her face in the cement, but I am sure she would have my H do the same as yours, so that was just a joke. See whatI have to say even in this forum?