Glad you came forward, IC. As a woman who was married to a man with MANY health problems, I can tell you that I never felt pity for him, only admiration for the grace with which he went through many trials (dialysis, kidney transplant, hip replacement, many other surgeries). The principal way that his health issues interfered with our R (listen up: this is the important part) is when we pulled back from each other...

I remember a very special time right after he had surgery on his leg. We were confined to the house and we sat home and watched movies and made love a lot-- nuthin' else to do! It was very sweet. We had to deal with things, but they didn't get between US unless we let them.

Another time, he woke up with chest pains, so I drove him to the hospital (about an hour away), and he was scheduled immediately for an angioplasty. They put us in the CCU and we had to wait an hour for the cardiologist. To pass the time we sang to each other, gazing into each other's eyes and holding hands.

Are you getting where I'm going with this?

Life is ALWAYS going to throw something at you. No one escapes health issues, financial problems, natural disasters, accidents, or SOMETHING. The key is what you do when sh!t happens.



Also, in case it comes to this-- and it may not, certainly. My husband also lost his left leg and had a prosthesis for the last four years of his life. It NEVER bothered me-- never. It wasn't gross, disgusting, off-putting, or anything like that. Frankly I thought it was kind of attractive and very high-tech. He went through several prostheses over the years-- and they are hard to adjust to, but it can be done if you have patience and a good prosthetist. After he died, I donated five of them to charity, but I kept the last one. That leg was HIM, and it's a big chunk of him that I still have.

IC and Mrs. IC: you can get through ANYTHING-- absolutely ANYTHING-- if you

1) Stay open

2) Don't shut each other out (IOW don't "protect" each other from your feelings)

3) DON'T TAKE MOODS AND FEELINGS PERSONALLY



God bless both of you and your family-- YOU CAN DO THIS!