Josa, I see the same things in my sitch. Then a Christian friend told me that God gives us just enough light and hope to keep us going. He won't show us everything at once, because that would be too much for us. He gives us just enough to hang on for a little while longer, while He does his work on the spiritual side.
I see that happening in my sitch on a regular basis. If not for those little glimmers of hope, I probably would have quit by now, and moved on. Because God answers my prayers, I know what God wants me to do. And for that reason, I will be faitful to Him, and I will not quit.
Sorry to hog your thread Ellie.
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!