You're right honey, I have been avoiding you. I've gone over this at least a thousand times in my mind the past couple weeks and I still don't have an answer. Every time I've built up enough courage to tell you, you're either leaving for work, or the girls are wound up and needing our attention or something.... I can't hide it anymore and at a time when I need your support the most, I DON'T KNOW the right or wrong way to tell you... Honey, your little crash test dummy has cancer.
Before I injured my knee, I was having some pain in the opposite leg. It finally got to the point that I went and had it looked at if you remember right. Then came the knee injury and I was provided with a cover...not all of these trips I've been making to the doctor were about my knee. They have been running a bunch of tests and while "the team" feels confident that it has not spread, they are concerned enough to begin a pretty aggressive chemo and radiation treatment in hopes of shrinking the tumor on the bone and then follow up with surgery to remove the rest.
Honey, please understand..this past month has been sooo special to me. For the first time in a long, long time I felt that you loved me for ME. Not because I'm your husband, father to the girls and because "it's the right thing to do." You loved me for me, for who I was...and it felt great ! I don't want that to ever end. I know now that you're not like this, but I don't want you loving me out of sympathy. "IC is sick and it's the right thing to do." Kwim?
I'm not looking for sympathy...I'm still me ! I'm not afraid of the cancer, I'm not afraid of the pain it might bring, I'm not afraid of the treatments. I'm afraid of how you are going to react, how it's going to affect you and the girls. You know me better than anyone, you know I will not quit until I beat this.
