CVA, I feel for you man, sorry to hear about being served. I agree with what everyone here is saying, and I know for a fact that by backing way off, it does help things, for both.
Just wanted to let you know, by backing off, I have started to show my W that I am getting my life together without her, that I am still being a great father to my kids, that I do have a life without her. Remember when you said that I didn't really show that confident side to her when we had contact, well, I really listened to what you were saying, you were so right, so with me backing off, I not only found all of that confidence, but it now comes shining through, and believe me, my W would have to be physically blind not to see it, and I have you to thank for that.
As you know, me and my W have been separated emotionally and physically for almost a year. but it was not the end of our story, together, the chapters keep coming, and one way or another I know there will be a happy ending, for me at least, and I pray the same for you as well.
As far as the kids, I also understand about talking to them about the D, through trial and error, I know that you just have to keep control of your emotions, don't show or take blame, just say it happened. When we are so close to our kids, sometimes we forget that they are kids, try not to do that. They just want to know that they will be taken care of, and loved by both parents, all you can do in that instance, is speak for yourself, let your W tell them her side, if she wishes. That is what they want to hear.
Just keep on being the great dad, the great friend, and great person that we all know that you are. Let things just play out. Email me, if you need to, Take care.
