Hi, new here and my H is in MLC at 32.

[txbutterfly]

Well, I snooped his work computer again. I've done this about 4-5 times since the "bomb" 5 months ago. Did it 2 times in the last month, tonight being one of those times. I know it's bad, but we own a business together, and over the last 5 months, he has been dishonest with me (since the EA)...so I snoop occasionally just to see what he's up to...b/c I want to know what I am dealing with to protect myself financially, emotionally, etc.

TURNS OUT:
• He went to a "singles over 30" social mixer 2 weeks ago. He told me he "went out to a bar with a guy friend" that night...of course he left out that it was a "mixer" for SINGLES over 30 (nevermind he isn't single). I've asked him if he is actively trying to meet women and he says "No, I'm just making new friends". A**hole. I've told him that if he is out there meeting women then he should tell me and I will cease the MC (which is not inexpensive).

• I noticed a note in his calendar to "text Blair" and later that night "Blair" appointment at 8:00pm...later in the month "Blair's birthday". Who the heck is Blair? He has not mentioned this person to me. Could be a guy's name I guess, but gee, he is sure trying to make sure not to forget to contact this person or remember their important dates...sounds like new OW to me.

• I logged into our old joint credit card (my login still works, even though its his card). Wanted to see if he took "Blair" out for a date on that night in his calendar...figured I could tell by the restaurant. That days' charges are not live on the website yet. But I did see a HOTEL charge on another night, 2 weeks ago. I called the hotel & they said that is most likely NOT a room charge b/c of the amount. But accounting dept was closed so I will be able to get confirmation tomorrow of what that was exactly.

I don't know why he keeps lying to me. It seemed like he had come back around more, being more loyal to me again, etc...and really over the last few weeks he is exhibiting the old "early bomb" attitude, more anger toward me, blaming, and now lying. Like his MLC is picking up steam again...him wanting to move forward faster to a decision about the D. He is cake-eating for sure. Buying time.

Anyone have advice for me NOW? I'm tempted to hire a P.I. and get back on my attorney's appointment schedule. I feel like I am being played. And I am scared.

I noticed in the last 2 weeks that our MC's *tone* about our relationship seems to have changed, since H started seeing him individually. My last private appointment with C, he sounded as if trying to tell me to start accepting D.