She is deep in the fog of the A. It's an addiction. WAS do anything and everything they can or have to do to get their fix: right or wrong. Once she finds out she that you know, there will be a huge dent in the mirage, but that won't cure her addiction. She may cling to it for with all her might. Right now the OM is her knight in shining armor. Even after the A is revealed, she will cling to that. Be prepared. That's where DB will be your true ally.
Another good book to read is Surviving An Affair by Harley and Chalmers. It gives you a good perspective of what each spouse goes through.
Happy Birthday BTW -- although it probably seemed anything but happy.
