Hey morgan - I haven't posted to you often in recent days, but I do follow your sitch and I wanted to say you sound GREAT tonight!!
Isn't it so cool to light a fire just for you?? I love doing that. Even if it's a Presto log, it's something.. hehe.
Neph - I'm with ya on the warm weather. I will actually open the windows and get the house as cold as possible, just so I can enjoy a fire and have it be cozy instead of "get outside before melting!"
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Morgan, This is bad to compare H's but I am in a pissed off mood. My old friend and I did discuss our H's and I felt mine was worse. Comparing our stories here I think Donna's is the worst. I hope that does not offend her. She is so brave. I think the rest of our H's are kind of classic weak mid life crisis accidental jerks. I do not think they choose to be cruel they just are desparate and the cruelty comes out.
Sorry to gossip.
From here , I have learned that it really is not about the OP, they could be neighbors, exes, coworkers, friends, it does not really matter. It is more common than people let on and I do not know why it is not discussed so that more marriages are affair proofed sooner.
Morgan, we did survive October. That made me happy for like a minute.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
thanks all! yeah, it was nice having the fire, and definitely cold enough here for one now. its a cold, rainy, november day today, I may just light another one and keep it going all day. nothing cozier. well, unless there is kids running around and you h there snuggling with you. sigh. ahhh, well, I will keep the part of the equation I can, right?
I think neph's h just edged out donna's, personally. but yeah, I often think I have it really bad, then look at some of the situations and realize they all suck, but I have it pretty good. at least my h supports me and my children still. at least his goal is to continue to. at least he makes time for his children, and lets them know they are important to him.
still sucks, though.
today I watched the end of a buffy ep that was on. for any fans, it was when willow went evil and went after warren. all I have to say is it made monday's morgan look like a pussycat. lol. ahh, to be a witch.
I called the kids to say good morning and they are just so freaking cute. god I love them. h got on the phone and tried to be chatty and I just said bye and hung up. I know that was rude, I wasn't mean about it, I need to do that better next time. but I don't want to chat with him. no more nips from the bottle for me. not even uncorking it.
not much else on my plate. gym, basement, reading, dvd. am supposed to meet a friend for dinner/movie but the weather is supposed to be bad and I kind of feel like hibernating, so will most likley reschedule.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
h got on the phone and tried to be chatty and I just said bye and hung up. I know that was rude, I wasn't mean about it, I need to do that better next time. but I don't want to chat with him. no more nips from the bottle for me. not even uncorking it.
Hiya Morgan, what happens when you cut him off like that? Does he get mega pissed or does he understand? If I do that to my h he either pursues me till the cows come home to find out what my problem is (invariably it's to do with him) or he gets way p1ssed off and then I get a hostile and high and mighty h for the next few days.
*sigh* I don't want him back if he can't change these things about his behaviour. Though I don't think he thinks this is such a big deal. Fair nuff...it mightn't be a big deal for him, but it gives me such a bad feeling about our interactions that I just don't want to have anything to do with him. I'm feeling like the MLCer or WAW now!!?!
Good morning, Morgan. You and I will both be keeping those bottles tightly corked from now on. Right now I feel like a drunk with a bad hang over. Even the thought of a sip makes me want to puke.
Yes, my H is pretty bad these days. However, I think he is just weak and pathetic. He has no choice but to go along with OW in his mind. He did call and try to warn me. When the cop showed up, I wasn't too caught off guard. It would have been worse if H hadn't taken the time to warn me. I really think he feels like the victim trapped between two women. Maybe I'm just making excused for him. He is a man and has chosen this. He is bad.
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
If cutting him off helps you, then do it. You are in charge of your happiness and well being, H is in charge of his. I do wonder, though, if it ticks him off, like when you refuse to discuss anything other than money or kiddos.
lwb, I'm guessing it does tick him off a little, because he wants what feels best for him at any given time. he does. its how he operates. its feels good to support us, because it helps alleviate his guilt. it feels good to lie to me, because he doesn't have to deal with any emotional breakdowns from me (yes, he has told me that, even when I hadn't had one in a long time). he told me last spring he didn't know where he wanted him and ow to head, but he did everything he could to keep her, said what needed to be said to keep her, until he could decide. he did the same thing to me. if it bugs him at all that I am withdrawing, well, he'll be over it shortly. she'll see him thru, I have no doubt. and I'm sure time will lessen it. plus, he will be the first to say he's the king at compartmentalizing. he's very good at just putting me in a box in his mind and not thinking of me. me being distant at all probably just reminds him there is, or was, a problem at all. he'll get over it. I doubt he's lost a second of sleep over it.
neph, your h is weak and pathetic, but he is also a man who I would avoid at all costs if I were you. I am NOT you, you know more about him than I do, but lets just say in black and white, simply knowing what I have read here about him, he just plain scares me. no more nips for either of us.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
That compartmentalizing thing is unbelievable. I think it must creep in eventually. Denial keeps it at bay, but my H used to say, these men still have to look at themselves in the mirror and go to bed knowing what kind of men they are. Ooooo How I wish I could have recorded that and played it back to him last night!!!
Casey, I feel like a WAW and a MLC too at times. I feel like taking a young lover and giving him a comfy bed and feeding him to make myself feel better. I feel like taking off on a trip to Ireland and swimming in Guinness, but I am Mommy first and I do have a reputation to uphold. Sometimes I ask my friends, Am I having a MLC because I am getting facial, dying my hair, and doing yoga, and looking at cute guys?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I am ok, really.