CVA - Not sure I have figured anything out?

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Puddle, Nomo, NA, Christarn, H, all who are watching this unfold.

Been sitting in a parking lot. Finally composed myself after dropping the kids off at the house to call W and ask how she wanted things to play out as am tired of this uncertain life I have been living.

She of course chastised me for saying anything to the kids. Yes I shouldnt have and I make no excuses. I should have been mature enough to talk to her, yet I have not been able to have an open conversation with her about anything other than "fluff" since this started so I just wanted the kids to know I loved themm, it wasnt their fault and that it was not my choice. I know, again, I should not have done all this.

She then goes on to say that she has heard "horror" stories about the financial side and the money did not come from our account (assume it was from a friend for family). I told her that I was disappointed that she felt I would do anything other than what was best for her and the kids. She said she was protecting herself and was advised to do so.

In between my intent to make this call positive and an effort to give her comfort I was not going to screw her financially or battle her, I did my share of attacking her claims (whatever they were I had a 180 respone, thanks for pointing that out Nomo). So I did not do all good by the call, but told her I wanted us to go see someone so we could actually talk about things in person and that I realized I have no ability to fill the voids she opens with anything other than attacking / anger / controlling statements so it would benefit our R and thus the kids going forward.

So, so much for 8 mos to the day of wanting something to survive that was obviously dead.

C