GD, good reminders about trying new tunnels and monitoring; I'm going to do it.
Originally Posted By: Gone Dancin'
Oh, and I'm glad you are looking "so good"! ;\) All the better for your "physical touch" H to gawk at and fantasize about!
Ha! That's so funny. You know, as far as I know, H has zero fantasy life (but what the heck do I know?), but I'll give it a shot anyway. The beauty of it is, it's going to be great practice for me. Don't want to be practicing on some unsuspecting stranger!
Hey Sunny! Great to hear from you.
Originally Posted By: warm&sunny
It looks like you're doing what it takes to avoid the 2nd flavor from occuring by going full guns for this next month.
I'm completely guilty of being the WAS within the R. H used to spend so little time with me, then with me and the kids when they came along, and I eventually gave up (but still felt resentful). Then, about a year ago, he came around to wanting to spend more time as a family---right in the middle of a huge project of mine. I felt like, you've been ignoring me for 10 years and *now* you want my attention? Too bad!
Of course I'd rejected him sexually for *years*---who'd want to spend time with someone like that? So I see the cycle, and I see my role in it. It may be too late for me and H, but I've got to give it the yeoman's try.
Originally Posted By: warm&sunny
turning up the flirting factor sounds like a really good idea, plus it might be fun.
It *has* to be fun! Nothing to turn you off like pathetic, angry flirting!
I'm not much of a flirter---I'm pretty oblivious, actually---but I'm working on it. Even ordered some, um, books.
Hey Heim! How you doing?
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
Funky earth mother on the prowl!
Alas, H is not the earth mother type, which means I'll have to shave my legs---ugh. Hey, it's just a month, I can do this.
Originally Posted By: Heimlich
And, hey, you might get lucky.
I would be astonished, and pleased, if that were to happen. I'm trying to concentrate on the flirting itself as the goal. Don't expect much from H in return ... hmmm, not necessarily the best attitude.
Hey ST! I'm going to quit smoking using an online program of lessons and support, which helped a lot last time. This time I just need to complete the program!
Hey L2, good to hear from you again!
Originally Posted By: L21959
Good weekend food for thought...and maybe a little practice, too!
Oh, lots of practice. I bought some sexy things today, and it'll be interesting to see what kind of reaction they get.
It's funny, H and I seem to be in a good place right now. He's still down, but the other night---may have mentioned this---he shared some of his fears for the future with me and his plan to deal. Sounds like he's working hard to get his head out of where it's lodged. Also showed me he's still wanting to share feelings with me.
He sent me an email today about a lot of financial stuff, asking me what time frame I have in mind for finding better paying work, etc. I first thought, good night, man, leave me be. Then I thought, okay, I'm not going to see this as pushing; maybe H is concerned that I get to a better place. May or may not be true, but puts me in a better frame of mind to deal with him---assuming he wants the best for me. He made a joke about having to eat cardboard for lack of money, and I joked back.
He also mentioned COW's psycho ex acting angry at him, which he assumed was about me saying H hadn't relayed his apologies to me. I said, "Wow, I sure wish I could remember," and he said no worries (actually he said "F**k him, and good riddance," since this guy's moving cross country for what sounds like an unbelievable job---still not sure how he functions with that level of alcohol in his system and his personal problems hidden).
The place H is renting is farther away than he'd hoped, and he's not sure he'll be able to hang out in the morning. I suggested we not promise the kids he'll be here but instead see how it goes---better to surprise them with morning visits than promise them and not show up. He's also talking about leaving work around 4 or 4.30 to spend time with them. I'm trying to think, "Great! More opportunities to wear my sexy new undergarments and flirt," instead of, "Oh my god, give me some space."
CVA, where are you?! I'm trying to lure you with lingerie talk.
Heim, maybe I should stick to workout clothes when I see the guy instead of the new stuff I've bought...?
