My W is now taking money out of our checking acct transferring to an acct she just opened. So she now has the credit card which she dismissed to me when I asked her about it and a checking acct with a lot of money in it (just about the right amt to hire a very expensive attorney).
Great way to go into the weekend. I am at a loss how to deal with this. Anything I say is viewed as controlling or anger so I cannot talk to this woman.
Feeling like a doormat again.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
This might be the wrong time to post this, but I was thinking while I was picking up my girls about you and your sitch and some things you've said about your W.
You've said, a few times, that you think your W views/has viewed you as a meal ticket. That she's not given/been able to give you the emotional intimacy that you need (and deserve). You titled boobs and botox as a thread (which I loved) which also hints at a W that's, for lack of a better word, empty. I hate to say it, but, maybe you're right. If so, man, you deserve sooooo much more than that.
You deserved better than this.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Hard to see now CVA, but things happen for a reason, and there's positives in everything. If this truly comes to pass (and obviously it may), then I think it wil lactually be for the best for you. I thin kyou deserve much more than you've gotten from your W for a long time, and I think that Better Days (check out the Springsteen song) are not so far down the road for you. And as for your kids, yes it's less than ideal, but they will be fine. Actually, better than fine. And you can teach them much about life, including how to handle adversity. And eventually, what a loving relationship looks like.
Chin up brother! Talk to you shortly.
Nomo
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
Oh CVA, I know you were hoping it wouldn't come to this, and I'm sorry.
As to the money, that sucks, and I doubt you're in a place right now to appreciate the fear that's probably been driving W, and that's okay. It's only money, of course, though I know it's probably not the money that's bothering you.
Everyone is right: you deserve so very much more, and you'll get it someday. You can be proud of yourself and what you've accomplished. Hold on to that, and all the support that's coming to you from your friends here.
((((CVA)))), wishing you strength. Email me if you want to talk.
Thanks Puddle, Nomo, NA, Christarn, H, all who are watching this unfold.
Been sitting in a parking lot. Finally composed myself after dropping the kids off at the house to call W and ask how she wanted things to play out as am tired of this uncertain life I have been living.
She of course chastised me for saying anything to the kids. Yes I shouldnt have and I make no excuses. I should have been mature enough to talk to her, yet I have not been able to have an open conversation with her about anything other than "fluff" since this started so I just wanted the kids to know I loved themm, it wasnt their fault and that it was not my choice. I know, again, I should not have done all this.
She then goes on to say that she has heard "horror" stories about the financial side and the money did not come from our account (assume it was from a friend for family). I told her that I was disappointed that she felt I would do anything other than what was best for her and the kids. She said she was protecting herself and was advised to do so.
In between my intent to make this call positive and an effort to give her comfort I was not going to screw her financially or battle her, I did my share of attacking her claims (whatever they were I had a 180 respone, thanks for pointing that out Nomo). So I did not do all good by the call, but told her I wanted us to go see someone so we could actually talk about things in person and that I realized I have no ability to fill the voids she opens with anything other than attacking / anger / controlling statements so it would benefit our R and thus the kids going forward.
So, so much for 8 mos to the day of wanting something to survive that was obviously dead.
C
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
