It seems to me that failure to succeed in saving a marriage can usually come in two flavors. First, that the WAS is already too far gone/committed to leaving the marriage. The second, and from my perspective, by far the most common, is the fact that the LBS is as much a WAS as the WAS is...let me explain.
So many times on these threads we see people decrying what their spouses did to them and how they just can't seem to get past it, to forgive them their trespasses. They keep saying "But she broke her vows. She f--ked another man" as if that somehow gives then exclusive dominion over the choice to leave the marriage. It's almost like the WAS flipped a switch, starting an inevitable process that ends in divorce, or at least that's how many LBSs seem to portray their feelings about the sitch. They feel that things are irreparable when in fact they are not.
The simple, inescapable fact is that for most, and I stress MOST WASs, the end of the marriage is at least as justified (and thus the affair) or MORE justified due to the months/years of "broken" vows THEY feel WE broke
I want to thank you for posting this on MM's thread. It looks like you're doing what it takes to avoid the 2nd flavor from occuring by going full guns for this next month. It does give a different perspective on the WAS/LBS equation.
For what it's worth, turning up the flirting factor sounds like a really good idea, plus it might be fun. It'll also be good practice, so all-in-all, a positive move.
