Going back a few threads, I want to 'yell' at you about putting yourself down when it came to sex. He is your husband, you love him, you are attracted to him. HE is the one that is sad and pathetic, for 'using' you in that way, and pointing it out to you. I don't think he was using you *all* the way though, he missed something about it, or he wouldn't have been there. Stop that, miss morgan, right now. YOU are the strong one, you are the moral one.
true. and honestly I used him, too. I knew he didn't suddenly love me, but I wanted sex and wasn't going to go just sleep with a random guy, so there you have it. I guess I wish I just had had more strength in that area. although I feel resolute on it now, that's for sure.
my weekend is my own. am meeting up with some friends for dinner/movie maybe, but honestly I have such a urge to go down to the basement and go thru files/do some old doc shredding (no, nothing I will need going forward, I'm talking I'm a pack rat and have docs from the last 20 years. lol). am also going to re=arrange the rooms down there. I have finished basement that has several different rooms in it. I think I'm going to take all of h's remaining stuff and put it in one of the smaller rooms, just divide it out from my stuff. also continue to go thru my boxes and sort it out...pitching the stuff I can let go of (did I mention, pack rat?) and lets not even go into the amount of outgrown kids clothes to sort thru.
I started all of this months ago just after my big furniture rearranging phase. just feel the urge to get going again.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
cut off early before, kids wanted to play a bit before school (yeah, and be fed, you know, its the little things, lol).
overall still doing well. am sick of hearing how bad the economy is and how big a dive the market took. great timing, H. so yeah, that mild irritation, but really, still okay. again, I'm sure I'll have my moments in the future. its going to be tough when the next steps toward divorce happen. really tough. but at least I feel like my eyes are opened and fewer bombs are likely that way. maybe that's it? hmmmm. food for thought.
the other thing I want to do is start in on the books about children and divorce. I've had a hard time with them since I bought them, they just made me so sad I played scarlet and said I'd think about that tomorrow. but I think its time. also plan to finally get going on the john quincy bio I bought. I started it, but then stopped it because i was too distracted. I need a little fun reading, not just reading to better me. and crucial conversations, of course. need to pick that up. that, more than almost anything, is really good for me. granted, I blew it sun-mon when it comes to it, it will definitely take practice, and I plan to be in better stead for the next one that pops up unexpectedly.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
the other thing I want to do is start in on the books about children and divorce.
Hey Morgan,
Funny you should bring that subject up. I've been through this single parenting stuff once already so I was somewhat educated before on the subject. However, there was only 2 years between Wives for me. I do give credit to my second W for the huge help she was in raising my oldest S14. They are still very close through all of this and she treats him like her own S. I even believe there was a little friction in the relationship from OM as to why she was so closely maintaining the relationship with my fist S since it wasn't her own. I'm pretty sure she shut him up on the subject pretty quick and he stuck his tail back between his legs.
I'm positive it will be much longer than 2 years this time so I'm going to reacquaint myself on the subject for my S7's sake. About a week ago, I ordered "The Single Father: A Dad's guide to parenting without a partner. I want to be aware of any extra care I need to take to lesson the impact of Divorce on him.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I'm glad your stbx wife is such a big part of your eldest's life, but part of me shudders because I know ow will be a big part of my kids lives. and they are so young, they likely won't remember life w/o her. ick. but hopefully she'll be a good stepmother, should that come to pass. still, I shudder. oh how I shudder.
I'm doing good today. have been on a cleaning tear...have purged/cleaned the pantry and fridge, and am going to start on the basement soon.
hey, how hard is a storm door to put in? think I might switch out the screen door. can't imagine its all that hard, just would hate to drop it, lol. but no, I'm not going to ask H to do it. was hoping he would the other night when he was here for halloween...I kept closing the door because it was cold keeping it open, and he kept opening it (yes, I told him it was cold with it open). but I can do this...not exactly brain surgery I'm sure.
its a beautiful sunny fall day here in MA, so will be trotting the kids outside in a bit, too.
merged the candy into zip locks and am sending a huge back up to h's this weekend...hopefully it doesn't come back, because there is a second huge zip lock in the pantry. yowza. that's a lot of candy my kids got. can you freeze it? anyone know?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Sara, my mom used to freeze them all the time. I was like "Huh?" until I tried one. YUMMY
Hey there Our Morgan, seems as though you are keeping busy, but still thinking about things. That's ok. You've had a lot to process this week. Your weekend sounds great, what movie are you planning on seeing? I want to see Martian Child now. We are seeing The Bee Movie tomorrow, a bunch of our neighbors and kids. It'll be D3's first movie. Hopefully popcorn and Sprite will keep her in place. lol
... but part of me shudders because I know ow will be a big part of my kids lives. and they are so young, they likely won't remember life w/o her. ick.
You're assuming a lot. There is no telling how long that R will really last. Besides, you'll be in their lives far more than anyone else.
