Hi Bruce- I am in about the same position you are. My H has been gone for 8 months now and when he left, he gave me an inventory of everything I had done wrong in our M. Now he seems like he is really starting to turn around...although he is the process of buying a condo. But he does say the condo could be an investment...whatever. My H tells me that he now realizes that he is the one with the issues. He says he misses me and my kids. He implied to me a couple of days ago that he wants us to date...although we have been getting together sporadically so i guess you could say we already have been dating. My H actually told me several times the other day that he thinks I am pretty and even initiated some kisses...he hasn't done anything like that in months. Most of it seems pretty positive except he still wants to be "alone" and doesn't want to have to answer to anyone.
So, what seems to have helped so far in my sitch is exactly what n2m & NG recommended...being still and patient. You need to let her initiate...no R talk if possible...maybe in some non-pushing and non-verbal way let her know you still want her but that you don't need her. I think it has helped in my situation to let my H know that I just want him to be happy...so, if he wants the D or if he wants to buy the condo, I will be okay with it. Do things to improve yourself and do things to help with your independent. Your W will notice. My H always liked how I was able to jump into a project and get things done. My H seems to be noticing again.
My H does cycle where he will move forward and then pull back...so, be prepared for this. It has happened to me many times before where just when I think that things are starting to go the right way, all of a sudden, my H is angry again and for no reason. That is where having zero expectations comes in...and that is very difficult for me. If your W does get angry again, don't pay any attention to it.
I don't know all the details of your sitch but it doesn't sound like there is an OM and in my case, I don't know of an OW. Don't know if that could help to turn things around quicker or not. According to the MLC "timetable" it is pretty early in both of our situations to have things be turning around but I still think it is possible because every situation is unique...and there is nothing wrong with having that hope...but that being said, we still have to be prepared for things to possibly turn and go the other direction.
Good luck to you Bruce. Keep us posted on how things are going.
But he does say the condo could be an investment...whatever. My H tells me that he now realizes that he is the one with the issues. He says he misses me and my kids. He implied to me a couple of days ago that he wants us to date...although we have been getting together sporadically so i guess you could say we already have been dating. My H actually told me several times the other day that he thinks I am pretty and even initiated some kisses...he hasn't done anything like that in months. Most of it seems pretty positive except he still wants to be "alone" and doesn't want to have to answer to anyone.