new here. Feel like dying

[ms ladybug]

My screenname is a name that I've always used on other sites. It's in reference to my daughter who loves ladybugs.
Is it disrespectful because I didn't say Mrs? It has nothing to do with my husband.
I honestly didn't know about respect until I read this book. Last night I wrote a list of ways I COULD have and SHOULD have respected my husband.
It includes, keeping the house clean (BIG to my husband), not withholding sex because I'm too tired, my body language (uncross my arms when we argue, look at him when he talks to me). There's more, but this is where I'm going.

I sound desperate because I'm in a lot of pain. I am desperate to have my family back, and to show love and respect to my husband.

It don't think I'll ever forget this pain. I'm just kicking myself for getting us here!