no contact......how do you survive.....

[yawmom]

Update--as depressing as it is.
I'm so confused--who aint?

Told H that I can't go from being married for 25 yrs to friendship, and since he's spending time with OW( when he's not driving his truck), not coming home that he can only call me if it has to do with bills or kids.
So next day he calls, --to do with son. Then next day he calls-I see it's him and don't answer, he calls again leaves a message wanting to know how my sister is (cancer tests), but I didn't return the call (he must have called her and found out she had the test, he can call her for results).
Today we talked again! To do with income -- this chk deposit was for $32 before that was $200, before that was $14!!! I asked him how he thought I was going to make payments--he hadn't been driving --spending time with OW instead.
He calls back to apologize for getting snippy, said I didn't deserve it and that perhaps I should get a lawyer so I can get what I need!! He said it with sincerity--unreal. I think it takes the pressure off him, and it won't make him look like a bad guy this way.
I don't want a divorce but he reminds me he's in a "realationship", he tells me he's not coming back. I told him you know it won't work out -- his reply "maybe not".
The thing about doing the paperwork would be that I'd be back in control whereas after 5 months of heartache and out of control maybe this is the best thing.
I want my husband--but it sure doesn't look like he wants me. I am just surprised he suggested it. But I need some income. I hate for him to lose everything--maybe it will be a wake up call, or maybe I'll have to come to reality.
Opinions?
I spent all morning crying. I've spent the last months crying. I've tried suggestions in the book--happy, upbeat, unavailable, etc...now I'm TLR and it sure doesn't seem much good will come.

I don't want this to happen to me.