Yes, there is forgiveness in my heart. I need forgiveness from her for my failures as a person, and I need some changes from her, too. I am ready to forgive for the past five months. I still believe we can be great for each other. I see us as two people on a journey to wholeness as individuals, who can hopefully take what we've learned about ourselves, love, and relationships and create a new, better marriage.
I feel I've had further to go than she has (men usually do!), but I've covered a lot of ground in the past five months. I feel the change inside, and now I've got to find ways to show it to her. As these boards have noted, I've got to attract her back by being an interesting, loving person, someone she is intrigued by, someone she would like to get to know better. That will take time, so I'm back to the number one concept when it comes to DB: patience.
I fully know there are are no guarantees, and she could quickly run back into the tunnel. The changes are for me and whomever will be in my life in the future, be it her or someone else. For now, I still want that to be her.
I think I'd better lay low for now, let her come to me on her own terms/timetable.
