Okay... I wanted to start a new topic. Since I'm new here, I hope I'm not stepping on any toes, or seem like I want this to be all about me. So, in advance, I apologize if it's coming across like that.
As I mentioned before, I spoke to a coach on Oct. 31. We had trick or treating that night, so we had family over with kids. We all walked around the block... had a few adult cocktails to keep us warm, and did a lot of laughing and enjoyed the night.
After everyone left W got ready for bed. I sat down and started reading a mag. She came out and started talking about family stuff. Thanksgiving at my dad's, a small bday thing this weekend and stuff. We go to bed and she snuggled with me. Of course, it was all I could do to not take it to the next level. But she snuggled into my chest and just laid there for a few minutes. We said good night and then went to sleep.
The next day, she was busy at work. No emails. My coach said, stop the emails, stop talking about the marriage... just act like nothing is wrong. Do things I want to do... But it was funny, I emailed her pics of the kids from the night before, and she didn't even respond. Her later response was, sometimes it's nice for me not to worry about answering.
I'm just so confused. Then last night at dinner, I just couldn't eat. Kids were out for a few minutes. W asked if I was talking to someone, as I had mentioned I wanted to for my own sake. I said yes. She asked if I had to pay for it. I just changed the subject, as my coach seemed as though I shouldn't let on that I'm taking this approach.
I went up to the school for a meeting she signed up for, but didn't feel like attending... she said she would go, but I thought it was a good way for me just to get out for a bit. Then a vendor from work was in town and I met him for a drink.
I got home at 9:30 and went down to the basement to watch tv. She was surprised at that. Another recc. from the Coach. I went up to bed and she was asleep.
But I'm just soooo confused. When do you draw the line? Do I show her some sort of contact? She initiated the kiss goodbye this morning. Just a peck. But I stopped the hello I'm home from work kiss. Does this become distancing yourself? I'm just confused and feel like I want answers, but I'm taking up too much of all of your time.
It feels so good though to have you all... I just can't say that enough.
If anyone knows what I'm feeling let me know. Since I found out about the OM... she said it's off. But they see each other at work. That makes me so nervous. She said it was just a one time thing, but thinks she has feelings for him, but it's done.
I wanted to also bring up possibly attending Retrouvaille - a spiritual marriage counseling session. But not sure when or if... I know it's only been a day... I'm just confused... and don't want to f anything up.
Thanks so much for your time... anyone willing to read ALL of this.... LOL!!
