Lets try thing again!!!!

[limbo]

Thank you both for the posts!

Pud, I do appreciate my H being here, and making the effort he is, I know its hard for him too, thats why I do stick with it because I do know he is making the effort, and if this was my real H I know he wouldn't hurt me for the world, there are other forces at work here, and with him going to the C I hope that we can get those out too!

Jak, the psychic was intresting, said that h was with me, and its up to me if I wanted this to work, at one point a card jumped out when she was shuffling, which she put aside, and then when talking she said, is there someone else involved? And then told me she was evil!!!!
There was some other stuff, that was alittle spooky, around my Dad! So it was intresting to say the least!!

[sandi2]

I don't know, to be honest, I think the key is that they aren't me....He hadn't had alot of experiance before me, and so I think this is some of the problem.

This was a quote you made in repsonse to your H's reaction to other women's flattery. That sums up the way it was with me in my own stitch. That is why I'm concerned that it is a ego thing for him that the OW are stroking and it is the fact that it is not his own wife. I hated to have to say that about my own husband b/c it sounds so awful, but it was the truth. The fact that somebody that did not have to think I was beautiful or smart or talented or anything else, b/c they were a stanger when we met over the iternet......that was the point. They reacted in all the positive ways (for me at that time) and it fed my poor low self esteem. It didn't matter that my H told me all day long that I still looked good. To me, he was my H and of course he still saw me through eyes of love.....but these were men that did not love me and that was what they said they saw. Of course, I'm sure it was a bunch of bull b/c that was just part of the "game" but I did not realize it at the time b/c I wanted to "believe" what they were telling me. I think your H is reeling in all this excitment that he has found meeting other women and he has believed from what they tell him that he is good looking and charming and every woman's dream man. Only if he can come to terms with that and be honest with the C.....will it help him. He has to realize that. I can only speak from the woman's POV, but I can imagime that it has to work the same way for a man. Eveyone likes to have their ego stroked and to be told that they still have what it takes to turn heads. I did not have any sexual experience with anyone except my H, so it was thrilling for me to find out that even at my age, I could get male attention. Of course, now I think....."You old fool!", but then....well, it was like a feel-good drug and I couldn't get enough of it.

I hope and pray that your H will see the light before it ruins your M. I hope he will open up and be completely honest with the C or it won't do him any good to go. I also hope that you can hang on for a little longer. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. I doubt I could have the endurance that you have had, so you must be an amazing woman and he is lucky to have you. I hope he will wake up and realize that before he loses you.

Take care.

[limbo]

Thank you Sandi2

You are so right! I think because he has a glimmer of what he is doing and why, then he stand a better chance, and I do hope he will be honest with the C, because if he wount then there will be no point to going.
At some point this weekend I am going to try and tell him this too, because it is so important to us, that he does.
But ultimately it will be him in with the C and I will never know what happens for sure in the session, so again I will have to trust that he is doing the right thing.

[Heimlich]

Just thinking about you and hoping for the best, limbo. Hang in there and have a good weekend.
BD

[JAK58]

Limbo,

DID she tell you things that no one else could know? That is what gets me and why i believe. I used to be a skeptic (until i went to her).


Sandi,

I completely get what you are saying and i think it does go both ways. My H has been the only one I have ever been with. When another guy pays attention to you it is exciting. In my M over the last 30 years my H hasn't paid attention to making sure he told me things to make me feel special. Kind of wears on the self esteem.

H is the one in crisis and needs his ego boosted well, what about us? I think i gave what i got. was it right? maybe not but oh well i can only go forward can't change the past.

JAK

[limbo]

Thanks Heim!

I have been thinking about what Sandi said, and thinking back over our relationship, we got together when we were about 21, he had a relationship with a girl who had sort of been my friend and that how we met, we didn't get together until well after they had broken up, she wanted babies and he ran for the hills!!
We were young, but didn't marry until we were 25 so had been together sometime.
But now what I am wondering is because I showed him the attention is that why he married me? Because he maybe thought no one else would, and so settled for me?
I also wonder for all of our marriage did no other women show intrest?
Is it now because he is ripe for it and these other women can sense it so go in for the kill now?
Not sure what the answers are to this?

[limbo]

Jak....She did! A few months ago we had found these medalions around the house, my aunt had given my Mum and I one when my Dad passed away, they have alittle angel on them and say always with you.
Last year I had given mine to a cousin who had be very badly hurt, and my Mum couldn't find hers.
We were cleaning and found one done the side of the couch, and then found another one upstairs, my aunt had only bought 3, so we figured it was my Dad, showing me he was close.
So the psyhcic asked if my Dad had been leaving me any coins! Freaked me out!! Made me cry!! I felt like an idiot!