First of all, I think you should change your screen name from Lousy Husband to something more hopeful and positive. How about Change is Possible, or Warrior Poet, or Vigilante of Love? You get my drift -- you are not defined by this crisis. What your call yourself is what you believe about yourself. You are someone new, so live in the new. The old has passed away.
You have taken the first step: confession. You have admitted the affair is wrong. If you haven't already done so, ask your wife for forgiveness.
The second step is repentance: change of behavior. Involve your wife in the termination of the affair. Show her the final letter you will send OW. Then never contact her again or recieve communication from her.
OK....now the hard part...the rest of your life.
Honestly, it's refreshing to see how remorseful you are.
However, even if you have a new-found faith in God and your resolve is to be marrried for life, you have to realize that the stressors that led to the affair need to be addressed. Some of these are your wife's issues, some of them are yours. If they aren't addressed, even your new-found faith may not keep you from straying again. Sorry dude, Evangelical Christians have a higher than average divorce rate. It's the ugly truth.
The new you, not only needs to have moral resolve not to have an affair, but, more importantly, the new you must strive to achieve emotional intimacy with your wife. That's how to affair-proof your marriage.
Good luck, my friend. I wish you success. I am now praying for God's favor in restoring your marriage.
