I realize that I never complimented her enough on being a hard worker, loving mother, intelligence, etc, but instead criticized her in all of these areas if she did anything to jeopardize her credibility in these areas. I was a stickler, a controller, and a complete A-hole. I want to be able to give her compliments once in a while with regard to these things, but don't want her to take it as pursuing. I really want her to know that I am proud of her and who she is, and am sorry for being so anal about little things over the years. I want her to know that I'm sincere in saying these things, and that I will always mean them no matter what becomes of our R. I just wish she could believe me without thinking I'm just blowing smoke up her #ss. I wish she knew for sure that my kindness and good intentions from here on out are only genuine and have no alterior motives; that they are a part of me and who I am/want to be.
Wow, I needed to get that out.
GD
Oh my goodness, GD. I could only wish my h would be thinking these things. I wish I would not be suspicious even if he did say/do what you have written.
He is currently not speaking to me. Now I feel like the WAW. Go figure....
