Now what? Wait it out?

[Michael Mc C]

My guess here is that she hears you say that you want to be friends but she honestly believes you want the M - the whole package.

Her concern is possibly genuine in that she thinks you'll get your hopes up by having normal "family" time (non-R talks, walking the dogs, etc.) and will end up getting hurt because she is determined to do her thing.

I know my W is/was concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle her staying in the house. She knows that we are both in different 'places' right now. She did not want me thinking that time spent together means that things are working out.

The joke's on her though! She doesn't realize that the quality time we're spending together IS making things work (I hope...)

Your W is right though. Don't hang your hopes on quality time spent doing 'normal' things. Listen to what she's saying, that's where she's at right now. Make sure that the time you spend with her is quality time but be in control - end the time on your terms, get up and walk away before it gets awkward AND before she gets up and walks away. Maybe cut back on some of the time spent with her as well.

Just another example: I work from my home office downstairs. In the very beginning of the EA, my wife stopped calling me up for coffee during the day or to see if I could get off work earlier. After DB'ing just a little bit (really, I hid in my office a couple of hours a night for about a week - pathetic, but I was new to this), she began calling me again. Now she even stops by the office to talk to me. And we never talk about R stuff unless something major has occurred.