I had the affair and now my marriage appears Over

[Steel_Box]

Another thing to keep in mind. You say that you are committed to fixing your marriage. That is good. You also say that you realize that your words don't carry any weight and that your actions will be what shows her that you mean what you say. That is also good. In my opinion one of the most important things that you can do now is be absolutely dedicated to not slipping and backsliding.

I tell you this based from recent experience. My W was the one having an A.It started almost a year ago, I found out(confirmed it) at the end of April. She came to me toward the end of July and wanted to work on us and our M. Well I recently found out about a backslide that she had. She didn't go see him, but was in contact with him again through textmessage. He is a coworker but this was NOT work related in nature.

Both she and I agree that things between us had been going very well until that point. Now, however I find it much harder to believe things from her. It almost seems that this slip was more devastating to me because before this point she hadn't come to me and told me that she was sorry and wanted to work on things. The mistake after the apology for some reason seems to be more devastating than the original deceit. It has been much harder for me to deal with than before. Before I was hurt and mad about everything, and this time it was almost a feeling of hopelessness a sort of "what's the point anymore" thought.

I only tell you this to further cement your resolve. If you commit to this you have to COMMIT 200%. If you slip she may forgive you but it may make it exponentially harder than it will be already.

Good Luck & stay strong - You've taken the first steps and that is a great place to be

Steel