She doesn't want me. I recognize that may change in the future but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Sit around pining for her? Keep trying to convince her?
Doesn't work.
What am I going to do? Give her some space. Take some space for myself. Let go of the dissapointment and resentment I am feeling. Be her friend. Stop expecting anything to happen. Learn to open myself up, heal my family issues and be a kind, loving person. Work on being the person I know I can be, without her.
No more expectations. At some point, maybe she'll change her mind. I can't bank on that. Doesn't mean I'm giving up. It means I'm recognizing that for now, nothing is going to happen. Perhaps saying it's over isn't quite what I mean. What I meant was that for now it's over. For now and the near future, nothing is going to happen. For now I need to get me straightened up as she'll have no reason to reconsider if I don't. That's what I mean by me time. I need to focus on me and stop focusing on trying to show her the person she wants to be. I need to actually work on being that person, for me. Maybe it will do some good, maybe it won't.
I know where I'm headed, I know what I need to do for myself. It's up to her to decide at some point in the future if that's enough for her. I'm not going to shut her out, but I've got to let her go.
