Welcome to this rather unpleasant existance. Most of us here have been through what you are now living. We are willing and able to help you. In fact, there is so much help available, that I have not used my DB coach in several months, in spite of the fact that I have three sessions "banked."
The thing that you wrote that stood out for me the most was this:
Originally Posted By: oh_guy
Well, I'm starting to apply some of the principles that my coach recommended. But I worry that it will hurt the relationship... BUT they make so much sense. But then I think, do they know who I'm married to?
Now, I don't know exactly what your coach told you (though I have a very good idea). However, I can say with a great deal of confidence that the stuff that is preached about here absolutely works. Is it counter-intuitive? You bet. In fact, after a few months of DBing my (cheating) wife actually told me, "This response of yours is not a typical response to this kind if situation."
Um, what was your first clue?
Seriously, though, you have a lot going for you. Your wife says she loves you. The danger for you here is hanging your hat on this. Your work is not done.
Stick with the program. Post here. Read here. Help others while you get help. And don't worry about "getting" more than you give. Your time will come...
