Well, I did it... I spoke to a coach yesterday. It was, to say the least, the most important thing I've done in the past 5 months. Geeze... it was crazy. But it was a great experience.
It was what I needed at that point. Someone to say, take a deep breath and just relax.
I found out my wife "has feelings" for a co-worker. Someone I've met, had a beer or two with. Someone that was "her friend" a guy she could just talk to about work.
Well, I saw that there were a lot of text messages, and phone calls at weird hours, while I was away for work, or out of town at family reunions that she didn't want to go to because she felt she needed some "alone time"....
She admitted at first for liking him. Then she admitted to kissing him. Then she admitted to sleeping with him. Just once. I want to believe her.
She says she loves me. She hasn't come out and said, I love you, but I'm not IN love with you yet.
She says she loves me, and she's going to try to make this work... but she's confused. What made her do it, she asks? That's not like her, she says. She's never looked at another guy, let alone go that far. Why? WHY????
We are really close. We know each other so well. We complete each others sentences. I thought this was the girl I would walk down the beach with when I was 80 years old and retired in some warm part of the country. I thought it was me and only me. WHY?
So many thoughts go through my head. I want this to work. I want her to want it to work. It just sucks.
Why?
Well, I'm starting to apply some of the principles that my coach recommended. But I worry that it will hurt the relationship... BUT they make so much sense. But then I think, do they know who I'm married to?
Well, it was a great thing... and I strongly recommend it to anyone out there needing to talk to someone.
I hope to keep you posted, and if I can be of any support to anyone - not like I'm an expert, but I'm probably in the same boat as a lot of you, just let me know.
Here we go. I'm crossing my fingers and praying for some normal life again with my wife and kids.
