I dont know what to say that will change her mind.
Nothing. There is nothing at all you can say that will change anything. The only thing you can do in order to effect change is to work on yourself and MAYBE your W will notice. Maybe she won't.
The more you talk about it, the more you push and the more you try to convince her to be a certain way or do something, she will back off - Quickly.
Personally, I think the idea of 'planning' a talk is a bad move. Neither of you are going to get anywhere, because you want totally different things.
