Thank you, those are better suggestions. However, she will know what the real reason is even if I don't say it. Christmas with her family has always been a priority. In the 20 years we are married, we spent ONE Christmas Day with my family. One! For years I wanted to alternate the holidays, but she would not budge.
Her reasons were that my family, all they did was talk around the kithen table. I might add that her family does the same thing around the dining room table. Its petty, I know but as you see, I always gave in because it wasn't worth the argument. That is her mother's doing too. One year, when we were engaged, it was a given that Thanksgiving was with my family, Christmas was with hers. One year, her mother insisted that I spend Thanksgiving with them instead because her middle daughter was going to college that year and it would be the last year with her daughter (which was not really the case). I remember saying, what, is she dying, the LAST YEAR!. Naturlly, my wife agreed with her mom.
In any event, I still went to my parents home on Thanksgiving and as I was eating, my wife, (engaged at the time) says in front of my family, don't eat too much, we are going to my parents in a in a couple of hours. So that put me in a spot to not eat, even though I was still hungry, and insult my mother at the same time. I remember my mom staring at me at her remark. Consequently, I asked for more food which upset my fiance at the time.
I can't help thinking that even if my wife wanted to work or reconcile our relationship, her family will be against it. So that puts her in a tough spot. She has to decide between reconcilation, her own opinions and those of her family, especially her mother.
So you see, regarding Christmas, my wife and her family has to have it their way. But why do I have to spend Christmas, a day Catholics believe that Jesus was born, a day He came into the world because He loved everyone, and spend it among people who hate me? That will be tough and last year, for the 6 hrs I spent there, all they really said was hello and goodbye.
