What do I do with her?

[Mike is Hurtin']

NCPlayer: I'm starting to come to that conclusion on my own. Right now I'm in the "angry" stage, and there's nothing I'd like more than to show her the misery she's putting me through.

She called me on Tuesday night and wanted to come over to get a few things, and to drop off a check for the cell phone bill. I told her I was busy that night, and that I *might* have time later in the week to meet with her. This is the first time I've brushed off her attempt to get together with me, and I'm happy to keep doing that for a while. After all - why should she be privy to my life and the things I'm doing? It's none of her damn business.

I'm starting to come out of my own fog on my feelings towards her. The grief, anger and sadness is slowly being replaced with a general feeling of disappointment. I'm far from the "perfect" husband, but I don't think anyone deserves this type of treatment either. W is an intelligent and thoughtful and capable of tremendous love and compassion. I know, because I've seen it for 10+ years.

She's a better woman than the one being portrayed by this behavior, and I'm disappointed that she would stoop to these lows.

OG *may* seem like a wonderful person to her right now, but he's already demonstrated that he'll have a relationship with a married woman - not the type of person I'd want in my social circle. I've seen enough of him to know that she's better than someone like that.

W is normally a tremendously loyal and trusting person. I'm disappointed that she's lied to her friends, her family and her husband. I'm also curious to know what lies she's told OG about everything that's going on. He is well aware of the fact that she's married, but one can only wonder what lies (either "active" lies or lies of omission) he's been fed, too. Disclaimer - knowing what I've deducted about OG, I really don't care about him enough to care about the lies he's been fed about me, and about my relationship with my wife.

W told me that there was nothing going on between her and OG, and she had the audacity to tell me that **I** have to trust her. I'm disappointed that she can't be woman enough to trust me with the truth.

Most of all, I'm disappointed that she would throw away what has otherwise been a fruitful, productive and largely happy marriage over what amounts to a silly crush and some easily solvable problems between us. In the 10 years that W and I have been in a relationship, she completed a postgraduate program (largely through my support), we moved 7 times (including two cross-country moves and one international move), supported each other through career lows and celebrated the career highs, traveled across four continents, and introduced each other to a myriad of new interests and fascinations. Material wealth isn't any sort of barometer for happiness, but we've achieved a level of financial stability that many people would die for, and we did it through nothing less than hard work and determination. Translation: we built a *lot* together, and she's systematically throwing it away.

And hey - if she's found the love of her life, then more power to her. I already told her that I'm man enough to shake OG's hand if he's truly "the one" that makes her happy. I just hope she's woman enough to trust me with the truth (whatever that is).

Cheers,
-- Mike