Lets try thing again!!!!

[limbo]

So I had a big melt down last night, I am really struggling with the pain and hurt.
I asked H if he thought we were really going to be happy, then I got really upset, sobbing! I know, I know...but this last incident has been the final straw for me.
I think back over the last year and everything I have gone through and all the abuse I have taken, and all the horrible things that have been said, and I think I have just hit my wall.
I just want it all to stop, the hurt, pain, saddness.
My H is here, and he says he wants to be here and he thinks we will be happy.
But I have heard this so many times before, and I think this is half the problem, I want to believe it, and I want to...but its hard to put that trust back in him again, only to have it shattered.
He has made an appt with C and goes on Tues, so that is something.
I just don't know how much longer I can hang on, and hold it reasonably together!