Well, he's put a hiatus on the sex. Stopped about a month ago. Says it's 'not right'. (But, yeah, we still sleep in the same bed. Ooookay....)
(Yes, he even admits he has a really weird idea of dating/M. He's been trying to get that straightened out for the last year. The classic case of having never seen any kind of healthy relationship...these are things he and I have discussed...)
Oh. But we are having lunch today. See? How mixed up is this? I sometimes wonder if he doesn't see the cake-eating for what it is, because he has no frame of reference to understand it with. We have this 'married' type of relationship...minus the 'married' or 'committed' part. (Come on, we budget together!) Haha.
I know at some point I will layit all out to him. What I expect of a M, what is okay with me, what is not. And that what we are doing now is a lot like being M. I will do it in a non-judgmental way. The time to do that, for me, is not yet. I'm not sure what I'm waiting on...just trusting my gut. He does talk a lot about wanting the married life, being settled with family, etc--and I know that 'us' is still an option. And no, it's not really something I'm waiting on from him.
In a way, I'm cake-eating, as well. While we're minus the 'committed' part, I feel more emotionally fulfilled than I have in the last few years. I'm hesitant to risk that. And I feel he's still doing some healthy digging... I also feel like I'm still working on some of my own issues, and I don't want to put that pressure on me. The space thing allows us both to breath, and resolve those nasty inner problems.
My rough game plan has been that, if he were to bring it up, we could calmly take turns explaining what we both want and need out of a M. And then I would ask for couples' counseling. If he agreed to go, fine; if not, I would start for myself. We would not rush into it...just continue to do the living apart thing for awhile.
Okay, that was long-winded. lol I guess what I'm trying to say is...I'm oddly happy with the current state of our limbo.
(Wow. I really put a ton of typos in my last reply... lol)
See? How mixed up is this? I sometimes wonder if he doesn't see the cake-eating for what it is, because he has no frame of reference to understand it with. We have this 'married' type of relationship...minus the 'married' or 'committed' part. (Come on, we budget together!) Haha. 
