Thanks for your thoughts. Yeah, I definitely focused too much on her. I guess with the ML I am worried about health issues... I was believing him, probably not smart on my part, and I wanted to hear about it if he's either sleeping w/her or attempting to. Luckily for me he isn't a very good liar, so I think he was telling me the truth. But the fact that I even had to ask - well, much as I enjoy ML at times and think it's a good way to connect also, it's gonna have to stop unless/until he recommits (and takes the other steps - new job, no more contact, etc.).
Yeah I know what you mean, it FEELS much worse than it appears right now. I think that's what's confusing the heck out of me. He was even proudly introducing me as his wife somewhere we went a couple weeks ago... then last weekend, we were at a neighbor's house and it was almost the opposite, like he was embarassed. We went to the party separately, I went after going out w/some friends Sat night - he was all happy to see me when I got there - but later on someone asked if I was his girlfriend and he sheepishly said "Um well no, she's my... wife." The way he said it was odd.
He calls me to ask me if I can pick stuff up at the store, but follows it up with "If you want, I mean, if you don't mind, if you were going to the store anyway." Does things for me, thanks me for doing things for him - even basic chores. But there's just this constant undercurrent of "It's over, but I'm being nice about it."
Someone else had a sitch like that... Donh I think it was? To the point that he and his W held hands on the way into the courthouse, and hugged and kissed each other as they left after the D was final. In watching his sitch I always went "If we end up D'd, I can see that being us." Except I think he'll get so pissed about the money that may change things. And I may not be able to stay that close to him either, I think it'd hurt too much.
Your point about nothing working reminded me - I asked him if he thought he was going to find happiness in someone else, or if that was possible. I had mentioned in a previous convo awhile ago that I was learning to find it myself. He said "I don't know - I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not looking for an R. I don't know what I want. You have nothing to worry about with this girl though, there's nothing there."
So yeah.. he's confused.. and I was also glad he was somewhat open to my point on the MC.
About his reaction - there wasn't much of one, really. When he walked out and saw me with the phone I handed it to him and said "Some girl's trying to reach you." He looked half "busted," and half depressed. He never got real defensive. At first he said "She never calls me, she always texts" then I said "Well she just did, and she left a voicemail." He just said "Oh. I'm sorry." I said "I'm sorry about looking at your phone. It was driving me crazy with the ringing/texts and then I got upset with what I saw, and wanted to know what's going on so I read the other ones. I should have talked to you instead." He didn't say much of anything to that, was nodding a little bit but mostly looking depressed. He set the phone down and went back to bed.
I went as well and that's when the "bed-time" convo happened. Afterwards I asked him if he'd please shut off his phone in case she kept calling/texting and he said "yeah I should do that" then did. So really that was the only response.
About the candida thing.. I guess the good side of them doing a complete analysis before prescribing anything is I'll know EXACTLY what it is that I have. If it's bacteria I'll go the antibiotics route (and be better about my cranberry stuff so this doesn't happen again!). I'm fairly sure it is because the home test showed high levels of both nitrite and white blood cells. I know the cranberry works to prevent infections, but I have yet to find anything that works to get rid of it once it's started.
If it's yeast/Candida, I actually have some acidophilus at home. I've thought that this was a possibility in the past and tried the really strict diet and supplements for a few months, didn't notice any difference though. I eat very little sugars or fruits and mostly eat low carb as it is, so that may be why. I don't notice any major symptoms when I do eat fruit though. Good idea to incorporate the plain yogurt back in, haven't been eating that for awhile and I know it's really healthy. Helps counteract the bad side of antibiotics too, if I end up having to take them.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
