So here's the thing, I think, maybe...: Letting go of *wanting* H is a huge relief. Not only does it help my PMA, GAL, etc, just the letting go itself feels good. I feel strong. I feel confident. I'm looking forward to life without him.
I agree that is does feel good. It's like getting an added layer of hide one you -- you're tougher now. However, for me there is still a lingering disappointment in that we didn't try everything and whether the storm together and come out with a stronger, healthier R. It's unfortunate.
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I feel like I've moved on in my heart. I don't hope he'll change his mind
Now that is interesting to me. No sense in trying if you don't want him to come back. Do you really feel that way? At this point I wish I did!
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if I wanted to leave the door open, I'm not sure what I'd be doing differently. I'm friendly and pleasant, doing things for me and the kids, building the life I want. There's more I could be doing for me, and I'm working on getting there. But re H, I'm not sure what else to do.
Have you reflected on what you contributed to the M that caused H to leave in this first place (and do you feel they were justified reasons for H to leave?). If so, have you done 180s on these "more of the same" behaviors, and have you kept them consistent? Also, have you worked on being more physically attractive (new clothes, working out, hair style change, etc)? Have you read the 5 LL and have you determined what his primary LL is and have you attempted to meet it in any subtle ways that don't suggest pursuing? I guess none of this really matters if you don't want him to come back, but since you brought it up I thought I'd address it.
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I went last night to volunteer at this great organization, hung out with some cool women, and am looking forward to working at their big upcoming event. Definitely cool, centered people. We can all use more of those in our lives!
