I am making the extra effort for DD's sake, let alone DBing. I find that the actions I have taken has made W somewhat more "sane", and she is not as destructive as when this all started.
Mind you, she has seen OM four days in a row, Sun, Mon night, Tue night and tonight. This is after she softened somewhat at DD's party on Sunday afternoon. Each time she has gotten home just before midnight.
She asked If I could look after DD tonight (Wed) as she had to work late. She knows I have accepted everything, and that I hate her lieing to me, but she just can't stop doing it.
I remember when we were in love, and dating, I don't think we ever spent 4 nights in a row together (staying out that late), especially during the week when she has to get up at 6 am. He must be some special peace of work to have her wrapped around his little finger. I just think that she must be so in love with him, and that nothing will change her mind, not now anyway. It just seems to be getting stronger, not weaker. I don't know for sure, but geez it looks that way.
It still irks me that he didn't bother buying DD a birthday gift, even though my W and him have been a couple for 11 months. And DD has been out with them numerous times, as a family.
Or maybe she is angry at my indifference, and not caring about what she does, that she is trying to be more obvious to get a reaction. Who knows?
How are you? How are things going, all well I hope. I've missed you heaps.
Just a quick post;
My SIL rang me last night, and we spoke for about an hour. What she wanted to tell me on Sunday (after DD's party) was that W and her spoke about her life, and W asked her if she has made the right decision..................wanted her opinion.
SIL told her that she has made a huge mistake, and that she never game me a chance, not ever in the last 11 months. And that if she did not latch onto OM, we would be back together today. W said "Well it doesn't matter now, he would never take me back, I've done too much for him to ever forgive me".
She also said that she never saw the changes back then, but can see them now.
SIL also told me that W and OM had an argument about womens phone numbers on his mobile phone (don't know the whole story), but OM has heaps of numbers, and txt and calls female friends. W has always been the jealous type.
SIL told me that W sounds soooo confused.
I told SIL that at the moment, I cannot forgive or accept W back whilst she was with OM, but who knows what may happen in the future. If she "drops" him and works on herself and us, and gives it a few months, these feelings may change. I just wanted to be honest, and not give her false hope, as I am confused about my feelings also.
Text book MLC. How weird that this sitch is like so many others.
How are you? How are things going, all well I hope. I've missed you heaps.
I'm good, thanks for asking. I've been keeping really busy between work and studying. Things are going good with the new guy. He seems very taken back by me....it's strange to have someone chasing me for once. I feel like I have all the control. I miss you too...especially our exciting conversations about our careers. I hope things are going well for you.
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Wow, my wife has said this exact same thing to me. She's mucked it up so badly that I would never take her back.
Isn't it amazing that these WAS would rather muck or should I say f*ck up their entire lives rather than admit wrong and fix themselves once and for all. I'm glad we aren't the ones living like this. I do believe my XH gets the crown for throwing it all away. One year ago, he had a beautiful, successful, great wife that loved him with her whole heart and was willing to do anything for him....now he's on his fifth job of the year, the manipulative woman that he thought was the answer to his unhappiness tricked him into a pregnancy, he lost his horse farm that he built with his own hands, a lot of his family doesn't care to see him or talk to him...I could go on and on....what a way to live!
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
The little young lady I mentioned in Yoyo's post was my DD
I don't think I am ready to start dating as yet, not until all of this is over anyway. But it was funny, Yoyo and Sara thinking I was dating a midget and taking her out to dinner and the movies (beautiful little lady).
My daughter asked me today if I had a girlfriend???????????
DD told me that W told her that I had one at the gym. I only ever told W several months ago that I did have a friend there, my personal trainer, who was a female, nothing else. I told her that this friend wanted something more serious, but I was not in a position to offfer anything more than just friendship.
It p's me off for W to tell DD that I have a girlfriend at the gym. Everytime I go there now, DD asks whether I am going to see my girlfriend..........they never cease to dissapoint us, our S's that is.
But I am in a happier place emotionally now. W will have to fight her MLC demons on her own. I just wish I could help her more, and guide her, but that is my controlling nature coming out again (I like to think of it as more overprotective nature than controlling), and she needs to sort things out for herself, with no intereference from anyone, not even her sister.
I hope you and DD had a wonderful time. You are such a great daddy!