Have you made your wife involved in the breaking off of the A. My husband made all correspondence between himself and OW available to me. There was absolute clarity in what was going on. I am afraid that to say you are breaking it off and then for your wife to discover you havent just reinforces your wife's lack of trust. You have to be seen to do what you say. You cannot give her further reasons to disbelieve you. That sort of thing just erodes at her feelings even more. It makes her feel you are playing her.You have to show her by your actions. OW needs to be rejected big time for your wife to feel at all vindicated.Involve your wife in the letting go of the OW - let her see it is true. You have to show you have no feelings for OW. Any sympathy you show OW is a slight against your W. You must prioritise and decide who is important to you and SHOW that.
You are on the right track but you have to be ruthless to OW.
Saffie
Thank you for this. This response was a bit of clarity for me. I will be ruthless and I want to fly home and bring my wife and have her see that it is over. She has tried to contact me but I have ignored it as I don;t even want to respond. I am very weak and hurting right now at the prospect of losing my family. What makes a person of principle and character wander off the reservation?
I called and spoke to my W before and told her I understand how much I have hurt her, her family, our children. I offered that I understand her feeling the way she does and that my words are not actions. Lastly I apologized for making her suffer and thanked her for standing by me because I didn't deserve it.
I just hurt so much and want nothing more than to make everything right. For her, and our beautiful children.
