LOL- I guess you missed my posts about NG and I having sex within minutes of my arrival at his house or GP dragging me down his hallway to the bedroom. I'm doing my very best to date men who are HD relative to me. The problem "I" have been having is more a difficulty in trying to communicate my sexuality without being misunderstood. For instance, if a man were to ask me "How much affection and romance do you need in order to be sexual?" This is not an easy question for me to answer even if I strive to be as fully self-aware and honest as possible. It's like if a man asks me "Do you like your coffee sweet and creamy?" and he's standing there holding a pint of Hazelnut creamer and a can of whipped cream. I'm not stating a false preference if I say "Yum. Give me some of that and one of those yummy chocolate straws too." even though it is also true that sometimes I can really savor it straight up hot and strong. For instance, GP and I were hanging out all leisurely naking out one day with the understanding that we would be getting it on later in the afternoon and he got a call from his son's school saying that he would have to pick him up earlier than anticipated. So then GP was saying something like we better chill it on the making out because we would only have time for a quickie. Now, pre-BB Mojo would have just said "So, let's just have a quickie." but post-BB Mojo understands that GP is conveying both a desire to have a quickie AND a desire to be a nice BF who doesn't want to impose a quickie on me. So...I actually thought for a minute about what my true preference/best choice would be. Then I said " A quickie is good in the right context." because I basically agreed with him that the current context wasn't the best. Then I proceeded to tease him pretty much mercilessly until it was time to pick up his son in a manner that was quite enjoyable and validating for all involved.
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Cemar, I don't get the idea he's LD... he's very HD. He's just showing his moody, mopey, introspective Type 4 colors. Type 4's aren't necessarily LD.
I found out that GP wasn't really in a Type 4 funk. He was just in silent male work mode. I was just feeling neglected/rejected because I'm not used to that with him because he's retired and he's usually constantly touching base with me because he has one of those wireless earpiece cell phone things so he'll just call me from the shower or the grocery store etc. It was actually kind of annoying to me at first but then I got used to it. It's interesting that he purposefully used my female tendency towards not dealing well with social isolation to get me to bond with him whereas BF, having a similar philosophy, is trying to find the rare woman who deals well with social isolation. It's also interesting that although I am fully aware of my tendencies in this direction, I can do little to change them. Kind of like recognizing that you're cranky because you are hungry is helpful but doesn't negate your need to eat something soon. That article that Lou posted on the topic was really useful for me because it made me realize that this tendency is just natural.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
