Still in limbo but my question concerns Christmas. We always spend Christmas Day at my sister-in-laws house (wife's sister) and her husband and I had that big confrontation last June of '06.
Last year, it was very uncomfortable for me and I am sure for them. My other sister-in-law (wife's other sister) has told my wife that her and her husband do not feel welcome in my home, although I never said they could not come. I of course am accountable based on my wife theory and her sister and her husband. They did not attend my children's birthday this past June.
Anyway, last Christmas, no one really talked to me and I of course feel unwelcome there, as they are full of anger, bitterness, resentment and probably hatred for me. For example, during tthe clean-up of the pots and pans, both of my brother-in-laws and I were helping to clean up. I tried to make small talk, but they didn't respond so I gave up. Then, this past Easter, my sister-in-law had to coax her husband to come to my house because he did not want to go. Once again, I tried to make small talk and recieved One, one word answer to a question of how was work going, and he said "find." That was it.
I also might add, and I really don't care but I want to make a point, my birthday was October 29th and last year and this year it was not acknowledged. Really, I don't care but the reason I am stating this fact is my mother still gave my wife $25 for her birthday this past June.
So now we come to the question. In all honesty, I really do not want to spend Christmas with her family and would rather spend it with my family. I am not saying my wife and children cannot go to her sister's, I would rather spend the holiday where I am loved and respected, not hated and resented.
So when the time comes, how should I handle this? What I would want to say, and not say it in an angry or confrontation tone is:
"Karin, you and I both know that I am not welcome at your family's home and I know they have hard feelings for me. I would rather spend it alone with my family. You take the kids to your family's home for the holidays and wish them all a Merry Christmas for me."
She will probably say either fine, or get confrontational. I am assuming she will get angry and conrontational. If so, I thought of adding, "I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by my mere presence, especially on the holidays."
