Much of what you said, I could infer from the mere fact you are here and read the DB book.
I am asking you about you outside of trying to save the marriage.
I ask because here is what I see. You are is trying to redefine yourself without perfect knowledge of what his wife wants. It is an easy trap to fall into. Also, you still have to be the person you want to be regardless of what happens to your marriage.
Food for thought from someone who failed to save his marriage yet tried to do what he thought his (ex)wife.
