Down and out...need hope.

[Rob1231]

I agree with Sandi, for the most part. (I probably wouldn't characterize it quite so much as "this is what H's do" as "this is what WAS's do". But that's really not the point, and not worth a big debate. )

Tostada, I really, really want to see you succeed - but to do that, you have GOT to back off. Your posts are all about your W - either focused on what she does, or focused on how you react to what she does.

Look at it this way. Assume that your W is not married to you. Let go, for the time being, of all of those claims you believe you have on her time and affection. Instead, think of it as if you are two friends who MIGHT have a more meaningful R develop.

First, how do you act towards her? Do you demand to know who she sees and what she does? Do you argue and second-guess? Or do you take it slow and easy, building on your friendship with care and thoughtfulness?

Second, what about you? Are you an interesting, confident, happy, appealing individual? Are you someone that a woman would hang around and say "Now THIS is a guy I want to be in a relationship with?" Do you have a "Life" apart from your M, that helps you bring new and exciting experiences into your relationships with everyone you meet? Do you exude Positive Mental Attitude to people around you?

Build a foundation for a future relationship, and stop undermining what's left of the existing one with your pursuing behaviors.