I think you ought to take these issues over to "Newcomers". Seems to me they are more general in nature vs. being something related to being separated. I know that you'll get more feedback there.
Having said that, I think you really need to concentrate on detaching. He has left the house, stated his opinion, and isn't participating except to tell you things that you don't want to hear. Now is the time when you need to insulate yourself from him and the anger and hurt that he brings on you. Only after you get to that place of being truly detached can you even hope to do things that might actually save your marriage. Right now it is just a repeating cycle of the same old stuff.
Take this over to "Newcomers" and you'll get more support and advice from some of the pro-DB'ers.
