Morgan, it is still so up and down. I think it is the holiday, thinking that H would so much rather not see me that he is giving up tonight with the kids.
The knowledge that he just doesn't love me anymore.
It's not the devestation. Not the urge to call him. I guess just another moment of grief for what is lost. Here I sit in my butterfly costume, not loved by whom I had loved for so long. And he may never know that feeling, what he has really done.
I feel that even as I move on, even if I were ever to get remarried, I would still grieve for what was lost sometimes, as I still grieve for my parents sometimes.
Well, that is my self-imposed limit to my pity session. Time to wipe my face and go eat Chinese with my friends.
