All I want is for the meal to match the menu, and for once to have my wife cry in my arms. I cannot tell you how profoundly lonely it is to never once have your W just stop you and tell you that she loves you or do something for you.
Glad that you are doing counseling for yourself and it does sound like you are truly committed to fixing the R. It also sounds like you W needs to get into C herself. Again, there are underlying causes that triggered your looking to have your needs fulfilled elsewhere (and not just sexual). You say above how profoundly lonely it was. If things don't change in your R, the loneliness will continue and will stray again.
Look into a book titled "The Five Love Languages". It should be in the religion section of a B&N, although it is primarily about relationships. Also look at the website http://www.marriagebuilders.com. Good information on the site about identifying you and spouses emotional needs.
We have read the 5 Love Languages and went on to read, "The Covenant Marriage" both by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend both of them.
