Getting tired of this state of limbo, so I pushed the issue last night.
When we were lying in bed, I asked her what her feelings were now compared to our last discussion. She said that they haven’t changed. That she knew that she had no desire to work on our issues and that she wanted to get a divorce. I told her that I preferred to do it now instead of waiting until after the holidays as she had suggested. She didn’t know why I wouldn’t wait, so I told her that I didn’t want to go through the next two months in this limbo. That it was killing me. She agreed that we could start the process, but didn’t want to tell the kids until afterwards. We also talked about mediation vs litigation again. I told her that I had been considering going to me lawyer to file for adultery, with the only benefit being that I would have some vindication in the knowledge that it was documented as her fault. I agreed that we could try the mediation approach and that she should contact the lawyer she had been talking to get some details. I will probably contact my lawyer this week also to get his opinion.
It's weird how civil and even caring our conversations are at this point.
We also talked about the people I had met at the bar this past Friday. She asked me why I hadn’t asked her to go on the motorcycle ride they had invited me on this past Sunday. I told her that is was because I had expected one of the women I was interested in to go, but that she had eventually backed out. Told her that I did see this woman on Sunday night at a bar afterwards and that I was interested in seeing her again. She had quite a few questions about her, like if she had or wanted kids, what she did, where she lived. Nothing has really happened at this point, but the possibility is there. It was a weird conversation to be talking with my W about another woman, but I don't want secrets.
